So I've decided to post something a little personal today, thinking that putting these thoughts and feelings out there may make them more real to me.
I'm a competitor, okay that's not a shock to anyone who knows me, but I am at a juncture in my life that offers no real opportunity for competition or movement. I have known it for some time, but I haven't known how to deal with it. Honestly, I still don't, which is part of my point in writing. I feel blessed for the life and family I have, so what is it inside me that wants to accomplish so much more? Why can't I just get better at my job as it is and stay comfortable where I am? My life is good...no, my life is GREAT! Yet I want to be better: better at what I do, better at who I am. But how, where?
Maybe I should back up... see, I was the kid who made myself a basketball player (not my words, my coach's), and I was the player who had nightmares after losses. I was the girl who spent two hours a day learning dance steps because I didn't like being first runner-up (or first loser as my dad once said), and I was the pageant girl (hate that phrase) who had nightmares for years about how I could have handled my Miss America interview better. So now, I am the wife, mother, and career woman who works everyday to give the best to everyone who needs me and expects it of me, but I always want/need to do better.
This brings me to my latest endeavors at work, at home, and at play. At work, I am on a quest to raise money better than I ever have in my job: to provide scholarships, to complete Ozarks' amazing comprehensive campaign, and to feel truly accomplished in my work! At home, I have worked to be a better wife by using new recipes and not just making dinner from a box and turning the TV off to get on the floor with my kids and play. As for my ambitions for play, I am trying for the second year to become a member of the Disney Mom's Panel. I'm not sure that I am pixie dust enough for them, but I LOVE Disney and have taught my kids and my husband a love for Disney. I tried for the panel last year with no luck and also not telling anyone about it. But this year, I thought I would be a little more out there and ambitious about it. The panel application process opens Monday and I plan to be one of the first to turn in my application. We'll see how it goes. Honestly, I'd just like to make it to the second round, then maybe next year I can make it to the third round... okay, yes, I want to make the panel, but they will get 20,000 applications, so I'd at least like to do better than last year.
There it is: my Friday Moment of Truth and putting a little more of myself out there.
We'll see where it goes!